by Zac Porter

achilles []

Feb 5, 2023, 1:41 PM (21 hours ago)
to mywarmia

my spirit has suffered a massive going under this week, feel like i've phase shifted through delirium into a new mutation that i do not understand yet but is welcome because as of now it is novel, moving away from being a spartan machine and moreso a renegade greek apostle infrared focus on spiritual progress carrying out guerilla warfare wherever appropriate. from reading st paul past 2 days...seems usually appropriate, in a matrix of so many plateaus where each island is an energy stimpak, unique proverbial mRNA strand awaiting decryption for targeted cell (within cells) immuno-responsibility (nurture) and it's so grey today...

  bought a camo jacket, fb marketplace, went   to scoop, $30 for it, homie named 'Kent.'   wore new thrifted italian made pinstriped   pants, had to be womens pants, no back   pockets, first knuckle deep front pockets, he   thought i musta came from the kitchen, lived   in porters neck right outside wilmington in a   development, walked in very standard clean   upper middle class home with some certified   kitsch like home is where the family is   framing a pic of the fam, husband and wife   wandering around showing me the place   with drinks in coozies on a saturday   evening, beautiful.

—you had them chefs pants on, figured you came from the kitchen son.
—no no i'm just a little weird
—so you're from wv huh? grandpappy was the sheriff of. uhh..? green??
—yeah, the greenbriar that's it, this is probably before your time but there's a nuclear bunker
under the hotel, they give tours of it now! during the cuban missile crisis they were going to
move the government in there, but grandpappi would call us boys up an we would camp out in
the bunker for weeks on end, it was a great time, that bunker man, went on forever it seemed,
lights all the way down.
—i never seen the bunker but i've seen the river, one of the most beautiful, stood waist deep for
some trout fishing, there are these little islands of green grass, make you feel like anythings
—didn't our niece, what's her name...janet, live in morgannnn?
—yeah that's it!! what's that place like? is it nice?
—yeah morgantown, not like anywhere else in the state, university brings all this money in, but
the money has a tight leash, doesn't go very far in wv, bout 20 mins out is a town called on rt. 7,
starts to look like the rest of wv, old coal towns, shanty buildings, dusty brick, all decayed,
mostly coal or steel towns, anyways...gotta split, you get the payment?
—yeah i got it buddy, thanks a lot

high-def mossy-oak'd up to my gills, thieves like us is the theme, today is not a normal day. we out here saturated with the springtime. today is not a normal day…

going ultrasound on mfers in wilmington, delivering babies like my big cuz drew, lifting weights instead of running, so many fucking pushups chest about to pop out of the camo, seshing it at the rec, full body for 1.5 hours, turning up on the yoga mat with brad pitts core workout melting the body, a thief like me going infrared. MY GREY IS NOT YOUR GREY.

collective grey skies over all my homies, clouds collapsed on everyone except O–, maybe, delivered beer like mercury, done before 12 every day, and of course everyone I don't know…but I bet black days fell on them too.

spy balloon blew over from China, blew down over the Aleutian Islands in Alaska, blew to Montana somehow.

Another balloon shot down over Myrtle Beach...airspace over Wilmington and northern SC shutdown, keep it tight for today...official orders, make it a vas bene clausum for an area about the size of Utah. spy balloon feels preposterous...ostensible psychic event, reintroduction of the shadow into US airspace, under immediate machine gun fire, laser guided F22 missile sent to illuminate the intruder.

X's pattern shift, heavy loads, inner and outer, atlasian, late nights, every night, weeks been a permanent journey to the end of the night
(they won't follow us there, gotta see what those bastards are so afraid of, what scares them?)
what is the limit?
love has a name

foreign intelligence outflanks the ego structure, surveils it, scopes out the defenses, perishes in the process, data retrieval the most essential

Chain sent first aide distress email... just fell off, felt obliviated, "or fell up, rather"
"have to perform living autopsy on the body of collective pain"
"concessions have to be made to create the ultimate work"

notes on Pi, faith in chaos, 1998:

C: important to view self induced Skull Bore as radical antiproduction. If the brain is a production machine, Sam was skull bored into Bliss State post Understanding. What did he understand? I don’t know yet. Thinking something about total interdependence with nature. Something about whitelight as totally void of separations. Why then was he present in black to recite his pattern. Not sure. Maybe final task before Blissout. Import note he scream “Noo!!”. Not in face of bliss out but in face of being saved by neighbor. Something something “I don’t want to go back” that necessitated self skull bore. Frustration - Breakthrough - Radically Anti Productive Bliss State. As a system of creation. I think the key is doing it over and over again in a short life. “It wasn’t the stroke that did it. He stopped searching”. Much to think about… Not so much the body without organs but the brain without semiotic conditions…. Fascinating.. Hmmmm

Z: i'll reply more thoughtfully soon, I'm in some meetings, and have some work business

C: Bateman core

Z: delightful ruminations. I’m curious about this mechanism you outlined: frustration—breakthrough—RAPBS. i'm going to try to sketch this out. i agree that this rings true, but i’m hung up on it somewhere. i think its the i ching in me…something that's missing from pi is the element of community, all community is nefarious in that movie…whereas the i ching has a similar continuum but demands work beyond the breakthrough stage that way the fruits of the breakthrough can improve clans as a whole. thunder and lightning come in the spring time and all beings come into form…it doesn’t stop at the thunder. but it does in pi, and he severs the connection…on the other hand what could he possibly have done? the movie presents it as if there was no other alternative, and its convincing, but i'm not personally convinced on that point…in that way the movie is not ‘dondafied’

however there is an implicit fault in what i just said, that the community structures that should be the pathways to share the transcendental—knowledge of god—have totally been corrupted. so sam is resigned to take the drill to his head…’it was meant for me’ because in the film God knows, and certainly Sam knows, that the sharing of this knowledge will only lead to the proliferation of evil in the world. it's incredibly valid and real, but i refuse to believe it in my heart. im of the mindset that we HAVE to believe in people, that it is part of the responsibility of this new wave we are on, the essence of…searing clarity, of ultra light, of dondafication, is to try and re-inject faith into literature. why? because atomization is a ruse…its a simulacra induced hole. it is a fact that people out there are suffering and that you are not alone, although we may be led to feel like that…that’s the connective tissue between human hearts, shared struggle and then progress. i believe it's possible to break through. this is the triple spiral, the triple spiral is the whirlwind, a fluid that facilitates faith (father son and ghost, in the wind) the triple spiral is the secret sleight of hand, the architect of this precious syntax that we map out by the act of writing...

  the spy balloon is a clear disruption
  to the program, could be taken as
  the calculated disruption to the
  program, perfectly executed.
  regardless of what it is, it's the
  omega of a grey sky frenzy.

H– hasn't ran either, one of these days not going to come back from it, but no, that day is not
today! five days though.
too long, back to square one.

I threw an I Ching about the situation at hand. I asked the Sage, wtf is going on in the world right now? threw the power of the great, thunder in the heavens. power in movement.

"The hexagram points to a time when inner worth mounts with great force and comes to power. But its strength has already passed beyond the median line, hence there is danger that one may rely entirely on one's own power and forget to ask what is right. There is danger too that, being intent on movement, we may not wait for the right time. Therefore the added statement that perseverance furthers. For that is truly great power which does not degenerate into mere force but remains inwardly united with the fundamental principles of right and of justice. When we understand this point--namely, that greatness and justice must be indissolubly united--we understand the true meaning of all that happens in heaven and on earth."

the collective precipitate of this inner worth is of course the sky balloon, the archaic element
floating in from the east...the herald of the vibe shift coinciding with the leo full moon.

the vibe shift...what is it? the VS is the collective shift in energy, a kinetic thrust altering behavior patterns turning all those who know inwards.

the water tower in my hometown exploded, mom and dad haven't had water since wednesday.
Rhode Island is colder, all of the pipes have exploded there too.
a train in east palestine OH, derailed, fires burn hot in Ohio
"the two weeks of invincibility are over"

the vibe shift is a call to attention.
there are problems to solve, steps to take, and the need for patience is asserting itself.

the vibe shift is the synchronization of inner and outer movements pointing towards
reassessment, a breakdown of the ego structure.

for this writer, it's the breakdown of a 40 mi/ week run routine and an introduction to the steel. Nick would say that the spy balloon is a manifestation of the tension, a manifestation of the coniunctio, the clashing of opposing forces in the psyche, its two wolves locking horns. Chain says it's a good time to be cool under pressure, and a good time to be a trebuchet.

a trebuchet needs a counter-weight, "be my counter-weight Z"

a right fair mark is soonest hit!

yes, the grey sky! clouds are parting and the sun is rising! beautiful water! call me! call me! call me!


Of course I won't say what it is! each and every one of you must turn inwards and answer that question for yourselves. St. Paul says, "Do not quench the spirit, do not despise prophesying, but test everything. Hold fast what is good!"

…and then: "for the spirit searches everything, even the depths of God."

I wager that this seasonal vibe shift is this necessary testing, groping around at the fringes of God in our lives…


You guys I had a crazy nightmare with both of you in it and I have to tell you…

So we were visiting some like South American country im really not even sure where and we were on this sketchy ass beach shitting my the ocean but like part of it was fenced off like right in front of the water. Anyways we were watching the sunset sitting with a bunch of random people doing the same thing. It was like the most vibrant red orange sunset and then as soon as it went down the moon was over the horizon BUT for some reason there were multiple moons and it like went down the horizon weird af and we were all freaking out. There were crosses nailed up on the fence and this dude walked up and took down one of the crosses. This local saw him and ran up on him and was like YO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING… and he was like it was blocking the view. The local guy was like that’s next disrespectful and pulled out this little Virgin Mary keychain and was like do you know who this is?!?? The dude is like yo chill I’m sorry and the guy starts poking him with the knife and is like speaking Spanish then CUT HIS THROAT and we were like shaking at this point we’re all holding hands just like witnessing a murder…
Then he walked up to █████ said do you know the Virgin Mary
And he was like yes I do I do! And he did this weird knife poke thing to his legs and palms
Then walked away.
Then came to me and Said you’re scared.
And I was like YEAH
he cut my leg with the knife!!! And then said to everyone do not disrespect Mary’s son


our practices are dusted in holiness, sprinkled with what is sacred to our own nature, our practices have the essence of our's a critical pillar of identity. it can be seen in the approach.

The vibe shift completed its turn at the simplest of moments. At Waterline, Laura offered me a cough drop, the simplest of gestures. Idk how, but it cured me, soothed me. I felt alright again.

Psychic connections truly travel faster than the speed of light.” –N

today is not a normal day. a western power emergency supply drop, today is not a normal day, the CCP balloon has popped and the collective psyche is saturated with electrical energy and i'm holding on to the lightning rod laughing

Chain: "Z you better be left in a flaming pile of ash today."

Kate: "Imagine sunrise, then seeing it set, all in one motion, all in one breath, watching it rise and fall, how can I do that?"

"There are thousands of ways in which this covering of universal love poems can happen" –01

                                                                                                                       by doing it, we give love a name.